Being a new mom

It sure has been a long time since I posted. I've been posting on Facebook, and a Shutterfly page where I've been keeping the baby's photos for family and friends, but not much about what I've been thinking and feeling. Being a mom the first few months was a lot harder than I thought, partly because our baby had four or five hours of colic a night, that never seemed to end. I felt guilty when I would be SO glad when I heard Nate getting home from school, so I could have a few minutes to myself. But everything seemed to get a lot easier when the baby started to smile. He became a little person then to me, not just a pooping/eating/screaming machine. Now he laughs at everything, including, "LOOK who has a POOPY diaper!" said in a falsetto,  or above, during his favorite game with Nate, Superbaby, where he gets launched in the air (still being held onto, of course). He had a little trouble today because his first tooth came in (early!) but even then, much more manageable than he used to be. It's exciting to be able to see the future in more positive terms- looking forward to getting to visit Disneyland for the first time, visiting San Francisco with the baby for the first time...

Going back to work was hard, and initially, I was really upset to leave the baby. But I really like my job, and I don't mind being the supervisor, which I didn't expect. The only thing that makes me feel sort of bad is that I feel like I get a fair amount of "well, that's not what Dr. So and So did" which is hard, and then I feel defensive. I need to work on that, because I know there are things that Dr. So and So did better than me, and things that I'm better at, like psychopharmacology, and dealing diplomatically with people I need to get a long with (no really, me! I'm actually sort of good at this, even though it seems like I wouldn't be.)...

I think the thing I'm working on now is getting ME back. I gave up a lot of things I used to do, like doing a lot of reading, doing some crafting, doing the girly hair/make up thing, running, yoga...I need to introduce some of those things back as I can now that the baby is sleeping mostly through the night, so I have a few hours in the evening after he goes to bed. Of course, some of that needs to be for board study, since I didn't take the boards this year- they couldn't accommodate breast pumping, if you can believe that, so I had to reschedule.

Anyway, here's to being a mom, learning to be thick skinned and being me (clink Sidecar glass with yours)...

Lisa